Baby, it’s hot outside

Have a shower, have a dip.
Imagine you’re on the deck of a ship.
Sponge your face, cool your toes.
If you itch all over, take off your clothes.

Eat ice cream or sorbet or lick a lolly.
Stepping outside would be beyond folly.
Think of icebergs, igloos, fjords and snow,
and winter skiing in Colorado.

Don’t boil a kettle or heat up beans,
or fry a sausage or cook your greens.
It’ll have to be salad with cheese and ham
or cold leftovers of Sunday’s lamb.

It reads 33, on my home weather station.
Here’s a toast from me –
’Cool beers for the nation.’